


Drums That Hint At Something More

by NicoAndTheNineGalaxies



Series: Why Do They Want Us Dead? [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Song Lyrics, Why Do They Want Us Dead?, ill edit these on my computer because I hate typing on my phone, ok i'm on my computer now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 03:39:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15282762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies/pseuds/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies
Summary: Ruthie's parents show up at Tyler's house with a USB stick full of recordings.All the songs she wrote before she died, right at his fingertips.So he calls Josh.





	Drums That Hint At Something More

Ruthie's parents showed up at my front door this morning, three days after the funeral.

“We found this in a shoebox in Ruthie's room,” her mother explained, her voice thick with emotion.  She showed me a USB stick. “It's recordings of her singing. One of the recordings is called ‘Tyler’s Song.’  Do you know anything about it? Did you write it?”

I frowned.  “I doubt it.  She only heard a few of my songs before, um…”

“Well, we don't know what to do with this,” Ruthie's father said after a long, uncomfortable silence.  “We thought you might want to listen to some of the songs.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I said, taking the USB stick.

 

That's how I ended up here, sitting in my bedroom, staring at the files on my computer.  I decide to call Josh. He picks up quickly.

“Hey, Ty.  Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I've just got some songs Ruthie recorded, and I was thinking you might want to listen to them with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Josh agrees after a moment.  “I'll be right there.”

True to his word, Josh arrives three minutes later.  My mouse hovers over the first recording, from two years ago.  I remember the funeral, where I learned about her first suicide attempt.  She must've written this at one of the lowest points of her life.

“You ready?”  I ask Josh.

He nods, and I click on the recording.

Judging by all of the references to death, I was probably right.  It's the bridge, though, that really catches my attention.

_ Sticks and stones _

_ May break my bones _

_ But words will tear me apart _

_ Another cut in my soul  _

_ My mind, my wrists _

_ Before finally killing my heart. _

Each word hurts a little bit more, because I know she wrote this in complete honesty, convinced no one else would ever hear it.  I feel like I'm betraying her trust by listening.

Eventually, we reach the recording her parents mentioned - ‘Tyler’s Song.’

It starts out softly, like most of the other songs, but when Ruthie starts singing, I see a flash of recognition and then panic in Josh’s eyes.  He doesn't say anything, though.

_ I have to ask  _

_ What were you thinking? _

_ I have to say _

_ You weren't  _

_ I have to ask  _

_ Did you know I was sinking? _

_ The line between love and hate is blurred _

_ I have to say  _

_ I don't blame you if you didn't know  _

_ I hid it from everyone although  _

And then drums join Ruthie's soft voice and guitar, drums being played with such passion that it hints at something more.

Drums, the recognition in Josh’s eyes, the date the song was recorded…

“Josh?”

“Yeah?” Josh asks, his casual tone sounding forced. 

“Did you help write this?”

“Well, Ruthie wrote it,” Josh mumbles.  “It's just from my point of view.”

“What's it about?” I ask gently.

“You,” Josh replies, so quietly I almost don't hear him.

With the song still playing in the background, I pull him into a hug.  “I'm so sorry,” I murmur. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“It's okay,” Josh assures me, even though it's clearly not.  “We're fine now.” 

I pull away, just enough to look him in the eyes, and swallow nervously.  “Can I…?”

His breath catches in his throat as he nods.  

I lean forward and kiss him, trying to convey through the kiss everything I don't have the words to say.

If we weren't together at the funeral, we're definitely together now.

I just wish I'd been honest with him.


End file.
